ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
