Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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