As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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