i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
