I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
