does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
