so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
soo... how was my night?
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