yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
