Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Randomize
