If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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