We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
