too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
