go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think i peed on brittanys purse
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
