Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
