Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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