Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
