She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i think i just lost a toe
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
