Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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