trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She bit a glass in half.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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