we're blogging at a bar
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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