We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My vagina just clenched in fear
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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