Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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