Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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