ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
