his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
