dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
