Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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