I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
