I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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