For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
