Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
