At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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