i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
