who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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