I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
