But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
