You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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