why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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