I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
