Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
