so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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