at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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