The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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