just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
