Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
