I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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