first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
