I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
