Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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