how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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