his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
