using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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